female announcer: PREVIOUSLY ON UNITED STATES OF TARA... >> WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?
>> WE'RE IN DIFFERENT PLACES IN OUR LIFE.
I JUST WANT TO BE AN EMPLOYEE AGAIN.
>> I'M NOT SURE I CAN DO THAT.
>> I GOT FUCKING FIRED FROM MY FUCKING WORK TODAY.
GENE, CAN I HAVE MY JOB BACK?
>> KATE, I'VE GIVEN YOU THE AFTER-SCHOOL SHIFT ON MONDAY.
I HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE.
>> I THINK HE'S NICE.
>> YOU'RE SO CUTE. COME ON.
>> THANK YOU.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE?
DO YOU THINK DR. PETE CAN FIX ME?
>> YOU'RE A NICE-LOOKIN' WOMAN.
>> I BET THAT COMMIE DOCTOR'LL FIX YOU UP GOOD.
I THINK THERE MAY BE A NEW ALTER.
>> TELL ME EVERYTHING NOW.
>> IT'S ANIMALISTIC. PURE ID, I GUESS.
DR. OCEAN SAYS WITH THE APPEARANCE OF--
>> WAIT, YOU AND DR. OCEAN HAVE BEEN
TALKING ABOUT THIS-- ABOUT ME?
>> I'M GONNA GO MEET TARA'S OLD ROOMMATE HEIDI.
>> ONE MORNING, TARA COMES BACK TO THE ROOM,
AND SHE HAD BEEN KNOCKED AROUND.
HIS NAME WAS TRIP JOHANSSEN.
>> WAIT TILL TARA'S NEXT SESSION
AND WE'LL TALK TO HER TOGETHER ABOUT ALL THIS.
[sighs]
[contemplative music]
* *
* OPEN UP THE SKY *
* THIS MESS IS GETTING HIGH *
* IT'S WINDY, AND OUR FAMILY NEEDS A RIDE *
* *
* I KNOW WE'LL BE JUST FINE *
* WHEN WE LEARN TO LOVE THE RIDE *
* I KNOW WE'LL BE FINE *
* WHEN WE LEARN TO LOVE THE RIDE *
* *
* I KNOW WE'LL BE JUST FINE *
* WHEN WE LEARN TO LOVE *
* THE RIDE *
>> SO...LET'S TALK ABOUT THE NEW ALTER.
>> [sighs]
CAN I JUST SAY I THINK IT'S TOTALLY WEIRD
THAT YOU GUYS TALKED ABOUT ME WHEN I WASN'T THERE.
I MEAN, I KNOW SOMETIMES MAX AND I COME TOGETHER,
BUT AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE MY THERAPIST?
>> OF COURSE I AM.
>> THAT'S MY FAULT. I CAME OVER HERE.
DR. OCEAN DIDN'T--
>> THERE WAS NEVER ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIALITY.
>> WAS IT A CRISIS?
I MEAN, WAS I A THREAT TO MYSELF OR OTHERS?
>> I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS.
I JUST WANTED TO GET YOU SOME SUPPORT.
>> WELL, I DON'T FEEL SUPPORTED.
I FEEL KIND OF SOLD OUT.
>> WELL, GREAT.
>> WHAT CAN I DO... RIGHT NOW?
>> ANY WAY YOU CAN HELP ME UNDERSTAND GIMME?
>> I BELIEVE THAT GIMME HOLDS ALL YOUR RAW EMOTIONS.
IT'S GIMME'S JOB TO KEEP THE TRUTH
FROM COMING TO LIGHT.
>> [sighs]
I KNOW THE NAME OF THE GUY.
>> YOU WHAT?
>> I KNOW THE NAME OF THE GUY AT BOARDING SCHOOL.
>> YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M SORRY. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS.
>> I WISH YOU WOULD STAY.
IT'S UP TO YOU.
IT'S HER SESSION.
>> I MET WITH YOUR OLD ROOMMATE HEIDI.
>> WHAT?! >> I MET WITH HEIDI.
>> THEY GUY'S A FUCKIN' JOHANSSEN.
>> I DON'T WANNA KNOW! >> SO OF COURSE...
THERE'S NO RECORD OF ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU
AT THAT SCHOOL.
HIS FAMILY'S NAME'S ON EVERY GODDAMN BUILDING.
>> IT'S A BIG FUCKING BLACK HOLE, MAX.
THE MONTH BEFORE AND THE MONTH AFTER.
THERE IS NOTHING THERE.
AND EVERY SHRINK WHO'S EVER
LOOKED INSIDE MY SKULL
HAS SAID THERE IS A REASON I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT REASON IS.
>> I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.
>> [scoffs]
IT'S LIKE YOU'VE GOT ALL THESE JOHN WAYNE MOVIES
GOING ON INSIDE YOUR HEAD.
LIKE YOU'RE SOME COWBOY,
AND YOU'RE GONNA RIDE INTO TOWN ON YOUR BIG HORSE
AND CLEAN EVERYTHING UP.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT YOUR TOWN.
[door shuts]
>> SO YOU'RE GOING ON SHIFT?
>> HOW'D YOU GUESS?
>> HOW PSYCHED ARE YOU YOU'RE OFF FROM SCHOOL TODAY?
AH, TEACHER WORK DAYS ARE SECOND ONLY TO BOMB SCARES.
THAT WASN'T FUNNY.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IS?
[clears throat]
TOMORROW NIGHT I HAVE TWO TICKETS
TO MY ROOMMATE KURT'S IMPROV SHOW.
IT'S GREAT.
I MEAN, THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY'RE GONNA SAY NEXT.
>> ACTUALLY, I THINK I'M COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING.
SORRY.
>> OH, REALLY?
LAST TIME YOU WERE SICK YOU HAD A PARTY.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU COMING DOWN WITH, DO YOU THINK?
>> HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
I THINK IT'S PLAGUE FROM THE CHICKEN SALAD WE SERVE HERE.
BUT I MEAN, IT COULD ALSO BE STAPH INFECTION.
YOU KNOW, FROM GRAMBO'S COKE NAIL.
>> WOW, KITTY. WAY TO HIT ME WHERE I LIVE.
>> [sighs]
>> YOU SHOULD GO HOME.
>> REALLY? >> YEAH.
>> ARE YOU GONNA DOCK ME?
>> OF--OF COURSE NOT.
>> YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT IT.
>> I GOTTA TAKE KIMMY TO SOME GYMNASTICS BULLSHIT
PIZZA BULLSHIT.
I'LL BE BACK AFTER TO FINISH THE PROJECT, THOUGH.
>> YEAH, THE PROJECT FROM HELL THAT REFUSES TO END.
>> IT'S COOL, MISTER. I AIN'T MAD AT YA.
>> CHARMAINE, YOU KEEP SAYING "SPANGLY TOP,"
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE T DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING SPANGLY.
SHE'S NOT CELINE DION.
OKAY, I'LL TAKE A LOOK AND I'LL LEAVE IT OUT FOR YOU.
BYE.
>> HI, MRS. GREGSON. >> OH, HEY, JASON.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HE'S CUTE.
>> WHAT?
>> YOU SURE HE'S IN THE, UH...MARKET?
>> WOW, MOM, THAT IS SO WILDLY HELPFUL.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.
>> YOU'RE LOOKING UP FLIGHTS TO TOKYO?
>> YEAH.
NOT THAT I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO AFFORD IT
ON MY SWEATSHOP SALARY.
HOW 'BOUT THIS: "BUS RIDE TO OMAHA, $45.
GET A FREE FOLD-UP CHAIR."
>> WOW, YOU MUST BE DESPERATE. SOMETHING HAPPEN?
>> YEAH.
I JUST KINDA MADE A BAD DECISION AT WORK,
SO NOW I WANT TO CRAWL OUT OF MY FUCKING SKIN.
>> KINDA JUST WISH I COULD GET AWAY LIKE YOU DO.
>> EH, IT'S NOT AS GLAMOROUS AS I MAKE IT LOOK.
>> SERIOUSLY, MOM, DON'T YOU EVER JUST WANT
TO GET THE FUCK OUT?
>> OKAY. >> OKAY WHAT?
>> LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT.
>> SERIOUSLY? >> WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
>> TOKYO. >> CLOSER.
>> ST. LOUIS GALLERIA?
>> GREEN HORNET'S LEAVING IN FIVE.
>> SWEET.
>> HEY, BITCH CAKES.
>> THANKS.
>> BITCH CAKES?
UH...YEAH.
MOM'S TRYING TO ACE ALL COOL
BECAUSE WE'RE GOING ON A ROAD TRIP.
>> DOES DAD KNOW?
>> MM, HE DOES NOW.
>> HEY,
I KNOW THIS IS WEIRD, BUT KATE AND I
REALLY NEED TO GET OUT OF TOWN.
>> BOTH OF YOU TOGETHER?
>> YEAH, I REALLY NEED A NIGHT AWAY.
KATE'S GOT HER CELL,
AND I'LL ACTUALLY ANSWER MINE, OKAY?
>> OKAY.
I WON'T TRY TO STOP YOU.
NOT THAT I COULD. COULD I?
HEY, CHECK YOU OUT.
I GOTTA DO SOME STUFF, SO I'LL BE BACK LATER, OKAY?
>> THAT'S RATHER VAGUE.
>> YEP.
>> YOU ARE SO CUTE.
YOU DRIVE LIKE A LITTLE OLD LADY.
>> MOM, WELL...
YOU NEVER TOOK ME OUT TO TEACH ME.
I HAD TO DO ALL MY PERMIT HOURS WITH DAD
AND HIS, LIKE, ZEN DRIVING THEORIES.
>> I TOOK YOU OUT DRIVING.
>> NO, BUCK TOOK ME OUT DRIVING. REMEMBER?
HE WAS TEACHING ME HOW TO PARALLEL PARK,
AND HE BACKED INTO MR. HUBBARD'S MAILBOX.
HEY, DAD WAS COOL WITH US LEAVING, RIGHT?
>> HE GETS SO WORRIED ABOUT ME.
I'VE BEEN--
THERE HAS BEEN A LOT LATELY.
>> MOM, LET'S NOT STRESS.
YOU WANT TO JUST CHECK IN HERE?
WE CAN PLAY PONG IN A SHITTY SPORTS BAR.
>> THANKS, KATIE.
>> HEY. >> HEY.
WHERE'S YOUR MOTHER?
>> UH...FLEW THE COOP WITH KATE.
>> WHAT ARE YOU DRESSED AS?
>> I WAS JUST WORKING OUT.
>> YEAH? SINCE WHEN?
>> UM, I'M ACTUALLY A VERY LIGHT SWEATER.
I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN.
BUT I JUST GOT BACK FROM A VERY VIGOROUS RUN.
>> DON'T MAKE IT A HABIT, MARSHALL.
YOU'RE A CUTE KID. OKAY?
SKINNY SUITS YOU.
>> WELL, THAT'S A BREATHTAKING VIEW.
TATTOO PARLOR AND A CHIPOTLE.
>> THAT'S PERFECT.
MAYBE I CAN GET A TATTOO IN HONOR OF GIRLS NIGHT.
>> ABSOLUTELY NOT. YOU'RE 15.
>> YEAH, BUT I COULD PASS FOR 18.
I'M AN OLD SOUL. >> OH, YEAH?
WHAT GUY TOLD YOU THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
>> I'M GOING SWIMMING.
>> I DIDN'T BRING MY BATHING SUIT.
>> WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN WATCH NOVA OR SOMETHING.
>> YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON YOUR ATTRIBUTES.
FORCE YOURSELF TO TAKE THE COMPLIMENT.
>> WELL, CAN I FORCE PEOPLE TO GIVE THEM TO ME?
>> THAT'S WHAT I'VE LEARNED THESE PAST FEW WEEKS.
SOMEONE COMPLIMENTS ME, LIKE NICK HURLEY,
ENVIRONMENTAL LAWYER WITH WHOM I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH... I TAKE IT.
I SAY I DESERVE THE GOOD THINGS PEOPLE SAY ABOUT ME.
OOH, THIS IS GONNA GIVE ME SOME PRIMO SIDE-BOOB ACTION.
OKAY, I WENT FROM BEING A SIX IN HOTNESS TO AN EIGHT,
WHICH IS, IN OVERLAND PARK, 11.
I NEED NEW RULES, HIGHER STANDARDS NOW.
I THINK I'M GONNA WAIT THREE DATES
BEFORE I LET A GUY FUCK ME.
OH, WAS THAT INAPPROPRIATE?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
I MEAN, I'M STILL WORKING THROUGH YOUR WHOLE
BIRTHDAY NIPPLE SURPRISE.
>> UNLESS HE GETS ME DRUNK. THEN ALL BETS ARE OFF.
>> COWBOY.
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
>> MMM. MMM!
[high voice] OH, OH... BULLSHIT. BULLSHIT!
OOH, OOH, OOH.
>> WHAT'S BULLSHIT?
>> THAT'S THE BULLSHIT LADY.
THAT'S THE BULLSHIT LADY.
SHE COMES OUT WHENEVER I SMELL BULLSHIT.
AND I SMELL BULLSHIT.
>> THAT'S A TERRIBLE LADY VOICE.
>> YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANS
WHEN SHE SAYS COWBOY, OKAY?
IT MEANS YOU TAKE OUT THE BAD GUYS,
YOU WRITE LETTERS TO THE EDITOR.
OH, REMEMBER THE TIME THE RASTA GUY RAN AWAY
WITH MY BACKPACK?
YOU CHASED HIM DOWN, YOU WENT ALL JASON STATHAM ON HIM
RIGHT THERE IN THE STREET?
OKAY, SEE, YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT SHIT, MAN.
YOU CAN'T.
IT'S JUST LIKE THIS DRINK YOU GET ALL THE TIME.
GIN AND TONIC HAS GIN AND TONIC IN IT.
YOU DON'T PUT SPRITE IN A GIN AND TONIC,
YOU FUCKIN' HILLBILLY.
GET OUT OF HERE, ALL RIGHT, AND GO FUCKIN' WRANGLE.
YEAH?
>> [laughs] MY NAME'S NORDIC.
>> NORDIC. THAT'S A COOL NAME.
>> REALLY?
I USED TO HATE IT SO MUCH WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,
BUT I GUESS NOW I'M JUST KINDA USED TO IT.
NORDIC HELLMUTH.
>> SO WHAT DO YOU DO IN MONTE CARLO?
>> NO, ACTUALLY, I'M FROM QUEBEC.
I'M JUST LIVING IN MONTE CARLO RIGHT NOW, YEAH.
A FEW YEARS AGO I WAS IN, LIKE, THIS REALLY FUCKED UP THING
WITH LANCE ARMSTRONG.
>> NO KIDDING.
>> YES.
HE'S ACTUALLY PRETTY BORING IN REAL LIFE.
>> HEY, KIDLETS.
HI. >> HI.
I'M, UH--I'M NORDIC'S MOM, RULA HELLMUTH.
>> DEVIN.
>> BONJOUR, MAMA. >> BONJOUR.
>> WHAT'S THE BUZZ, PARTY PEOPLE?
>> HEY, MIKE, THIS IS NORDIC AND HER MOTHER...RULA?
>> MIKE. >> HI, MIKE.
>> I COULD'VE SWORN YOU TWO WERE SISTERS.
HEY, CAN I BUY YOU LADIES A COUPLE OF DRINKS?
>> WELL, YOU KNOW, NORDIC IS ACTUALLY DEATHLY ALLERGIC,
AND I'M MARRIED, SO...
>> OH, THAT'S OKAY. MIKE IS MARRIED TOO.
>> YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
WHAT HAPPENS AT THE FARM CONFERENCE...
>> NOW, WHO SAYS THAT?
SERIOUSLY, I WANNA KNOW WHO SAYS THAT.
>> NO, I HAVE A GREAT WIFE, RULA,
BUT IF MY CINDY WERE HERE, SHE'D SAY THAT BEING HITCHED
SHOULDN'T STOP A FELLA FROM ENJOYING A MARGARITA
WITH AN EQUALLY HAPPILY MARRIED LOVELY LADY SUCH AS YOURSELF.
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DEVIN? >> TOTALLY.
>> THE CONVENTION GAVE ME A BUTTLOAD OF DRINK TICKETS.
>> WHOO.
>> I'M PRETTY HIGH UP AT MERCK.
>> OH, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT TO BEGIN WITH?
>> SO, UM, I HAVE SOME RUM AND SOME BRANDY.
>> UH, I'LL TRY THE RUM.
[knock on door]
>> MARSHALL, RIGHT?
UH, GENE STUART, KATE'S GENERAL MANAGER.
BARNABEEZ.
>> I KNOW. >> HEY, MAN.
>> HEY.
GOTCHA.
I BROUGHT SOME BEEF BROTH FOR KATE
AND A FAMILY GUY DVD.
SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT,
BUT SHE JUST NEEDS TO GIVE IT A CHANCE.
MAY I BRING THIS STUFF INSIDE?
>> YEAH, OKAY, BUT UM, SHE'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW.
>> OH, REALLY? SO SHE'S OUT.
SHE'S PROBABLY AT THE DOCTOR OR SOMETHING.
THAT'S OKAY.
I'LL JUST SET THIS STUFF UP NOW
SO WHEN SHE COMES BACK IT'LL BE ALL READY.
>> OKAY, WELL, UH, HE HAVE TO GO WORK ON OUR PROJECT.
>> NO WORRIES.
YOU GUYS JUST DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO,
AND I'LL BE DONE IN A SECOND.
GOD, I AM SUCH A FREAK ABOUT PRESENTATION.
>> [weak chuckle]
>> OH, MY BABY CAT.
>> I WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU, RULA.
MY CINDY USED TO BE A BIT OF A DOWNER.
BUT NOW 100 MGs OF ATIVAN AND A ZOLOFT CHASER,
AND SHE'S DOING AWESOME.
NOW IF SHE COULD ONLY DROP, LIKE, 40 POUNDS
AND STOP WATCHING JUDGE JOE BROWN ALL THE TIME.
HEY, I WONDER WHERE NORDIC WENT.
>> OH, THEY LEFT A WHILE AGO.
>> I'LL BE BACK...MAYBE.
>> JOHANSSEN INVESTMENTS. HOLD, PLEASE.
JOHANSSEN INVESTMENTS. HOLD, PLEASE.
HI. MAY I HELP YOU?
>> IS TRIP JOHANSSEN AVAILABLE? >> DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT?
>> CAN I HELP YOU?
>> TRIP?
>> I'M CHARLES JOHANSSEN.
TRIP WORKS OUT OF THE CHICAGO OFFICE.
IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?
>> NO, NO.
>> UH, THANK YOU.
[music swells then stops]
>> THAT WAS AN AWESOME MOVIE.
>> SEE, YOU KNOW...
JUST 'CAUSE IT'S A BLACK AND WHITE MOVIE
DOESN'T MEAN IT'S AUTOMATICALLY TERRIBLE.
>> NO, I NEVER SAID THAT.
YOU HAVE THIS IDEA OF ME, AND IT'S NOT--
>> NO, I DON'T.
>> WELL, IT'S COOL. I GET IT.
I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPOSED TO THAT MUCH STUFF.
I WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO GO OVER TO A FRIEND'S HOUSE
BECAUSE MY PARENTS WERE WORRIED ABOUT BAD INFLUENCES.
AND THEN IF I MET A KID WITH COOL BASEBALL CARDS
THAT THEY WERE OKAY WITH, WE'D MOVE.
>> SUCKS.
>> THERE IS A PIRATE SHIP IN OUTER SPACE ON YOUR CEILING.
>> MY MOM PAINTED IT.
>> IT'S NICE.
MY MOM DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME.
>> I THINK IT'S FAIR TO SAY
I WIN EVERY CRAZY MOTHER CONTEST.
>> FINE, BUT I WIN EVERY MY-MOTHER'S-
A-FUCKING-HORRIBLE-PERSON CONTEST.
>> TO--TO MOTHER ISSUES.
>> YOU'RE LUCKY, MARSHALL.
YOUR MOM'S THERE FOR YOU.
BECAUSE SHE MADE YOU.
[yawns]
>> HEY, NORDIC...
I JUST READ IN US WEEKLY THAT LANCE IS DATING
ONE OF THE OLSEN TWINS.
WHICH MUST BE TOTAL VINDICATION FOR SHERYL CROW.
I MEAN, THAT GUY IS JUST GONNA FUCK EVERYONE, ISN'T HE?
>> HEY, I WOULD.
>> AND I SEE YOU ARE.
>> ONE SEC, DEV.
MOM...QUIT LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.
COULD YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS WAS GONNA BE
MOTHER/DAUGHTER, LET'S GET FRENCH MANICURES
KIND OF GETAWAYS?
THIS IS US, REMEMBER?
>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS GUY.
AND THE BUBBLES IN THAT HOT TUB HAVE CRUST ON THEM.
>> YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
CHARMAINE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE ALL OVER THAT SKIN HEAD
AT THE SUGAR SHACK.
>> THAT WAS T.
>> [scoffs] MOM, I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU,
BUT THE SAME EXACT PERSON THAT'S HERE RIGHT NOW
IS THE SAME PERSON THAT WAS AT THAT SUGAR SHACK.
>> WELCOME BACK.
>> I JUST LIKE TO GET OUT FOR A SECOND,
AND THEN GET BACK IN.
AND THEN YOU'RE, LIKE, AHH, IT'S HOT AGAIN.
>> ACTUALLY, I PREFER TO STAY IN BECAUSE THAT'S ALWAYS HOT.
>> WHOO!
>> MOM, WHAT THE HELL?!
>> WHAT'S CRACK-A-LACKIN', PIMP-A-LIMPIN'?
OOH, AREN'T YOU A YUMMY BIRD.
T, GET OUT OF HERE. GO SKANKZILLA SOMEWHERE ELSE.
>> COME ON!
>> NO, NO NEGOTIATING.
GET OUT OF THE FUCKING JACUZZI RIGHT NOW
OR I'M GONNA CALL DAD.
>> AW, BITCH-ASS SNITCH-ASS!
>> OH, MY GOD.
[ringing]
>> SPRUNG FOR THE CUSTOM PAINT JOB.
VAPOR-BLUE. YEAH.
IT'S A SPLURGE, YOU KNOW.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE EVERY OTHER BORING DINGO
DRIVING A CAMRY TO WORK, YOU KNOW.
OH, I JUST PERSONALIZED THE LICENSE PLATE LAST WEEK.
IT'S GONNA SAY DRUG-D-LER: D-L...
>> T?
[Motorhead playing]
* *
>> [sighs] I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU EVERYWHERE.
T, COME ON.
>> I BELIEVE I'VE ALREADY GIVEN MY CONSENT.
GO AHEAD, LUTHER.
HURT ME GOOD, BABY!
[giggles]
>> T, THAT'S MOM'S BODY.
>> SHE'S MENTALLY DISTURBED. MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES.
SOMETIMES SHE THINKS SHE'S MY DAUGHTER.
SOMETIMES SHE PRETENDS TO BE A STUCK-UP OVERLAND PARK BRAT.
AND SOMETIMES SHE PRETENDS... >> THAT'S MOM'S BLOOD,
>> A FRENCH-CANADIAN HO-BAG... >> MOM'S SKIN, MOM'S TEETH,
>> WHO USED TO GO WITH LANCE ARMSTRONG.
>> MOM'S HAIR... >> JUST DO IT, LUTHER.
>> YOU SURE?
>> IF YOU PUT THAT SHIT UNDER A MICROSCOPE,
YOU'LL SEE THAT THAT'S MOM'S DNA.
YOU'RE A VISITOR, AND YOU KNOW IT.
>> OW!
FUCK!
>> MOMMY?
>> IS THIS ON ME?
>> NO, NOT YET.
>> I THINK I'LL PASS.
>> SO YOU DON'T WANT THE DOLPHIN FUCKING THE UNICORN
ON YOUR ASS EITHER?
>> UH, NO THANKS.
>> HEY, JASON.
>> HEY, MR. GREGSON. HOW YOU DOING?
>> I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. IT'S BEEN A WEIRD DAY.
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, THOUGH.
>> THANK YOU, SIR.
>> NO, NO, NO, COME ON. NONE OF THAT "SIR" STUFF, HUH?
>> BYE. >> GOOD NIGHT, PAL.
>> HOW DID YOU DO THAT MAGIC YOU DID?
>> WHEN ARE YOU GONNA FUCK THE PIE?
>> [laughs] HE'S NOT GONNA FUCK THE PIE.
>> SO WHY ARE WE WATCHING?
>> I DON'T KNOW.
>> OW. PASS THE NEOSPORIN.
>> JEEZ, MOM, MATCHING TATTOOS.
WHAT'S NEXT, CLIT RINGS? >> NO, THANKS.
>> OH, MAN, DAD IS GONNA FLIP.
>> HE'S GOT ONE.
>> WHAT?! WHERE?
>> HEY.
EVERYTHING OKAY HERE?
MOM EVER CALL?
>> NO, BUT I GOT A TEXT FROM KATE
TELLING ME TO GO FUCK MYSELF,
SO I THINK EVERYTHING'S FINE.
NICE.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?
JASON CAME OVER.
AND THEN WE WATCHED A MOVIE FOR FILM LIT.
HUNG OUT.
>> OH, SHIT.
>> WHAT?
>> YOU GOT IT BAD, DON'T YOU?
>> I THINK THAT'S A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY.
>> OH...
OH, SON...
NOTHING LIKE LOVE.
[television droning]
[cell phone vibrating]
>> HEY, I KNOW IT'S LATE.
I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY ABOUT TODAY.
IT WAS HARD.
AND IF YOU WANT ME TO STOP DIGGING,
I CAN DO THAT--I'M DONE.
OKAY?
HAVE FUN AT THE MALL TOMORROW.
BYE. LOVE YOU.
>> * IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES *
* DO YOU SEE ANY SKY? *
* *
* IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES *
* CAN YOU MAKE OUT *
* ANY SKIES? *
* IS THERE A SKY *
* WHEN THAT NIGHT *
* *
* THAT NIGHT UNTIES *
* *
* AS YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES *
Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com
* *
* WHEN YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES *
* WILL YOU STEP *
* INTO THE SKIES? *
* *
* IS THERE A SKY *
* *
* WHEN THAT NIGHT *
* *
* THAT NIGHT UNTIES *
* AS YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES? *